Occasionally, we’ll hear a quote that sticks with us for some reason.
One of my favorite quotes comes from the movie Seven Years in Tibet. Austrian mountaineer Heinrich Harrer is talking with the Dalai Lama about the upcoming enthronement ceremony and is worried about the Dalai Lama’s safety.
The Dalai Lama replied:
“We have a saying in Tibet: If a problem can be solved there is no use worrying about it. If it can’t be solved, worrying will do no good.”
This quote left an impression on me and has stuck with me for many years.
When I think back to college, it was a stressful time for me. I often felt overwhelmed and worried about classes, relationships, and what I was supposed to do with my life. It was easy to get sucked into a downward spiral.
I was trying to figure out how to manage everything going on and this quote kept popping into my head. The more I thought about it, the more it seemed to help my mental state. Adopting this quote as a mindset gave me a feeling of calmness and control.
I simplified it down to this: control what you can control.
The Dichotomy of Control
The more I dug into the concept of, “control what you can control,” I discovered that its roots come from Stoicism. Differentiating between what you can control and what you can’t is a fundamental practice of Stoic philosophy.
A passage from Stoic philosopher Epictetus:
“The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with the choices I actually control. Where then do I look for good and evil? Not to uncontrollable externals, but within myself to the choices that are my own…”
I frequently remind myself of this passage when I am worrying or stressed about something. This way of thinking not only helps me feel happier, it gives me a feeling of inner peace.
If your flight gets delayed from a storm, yelling at the gate agent is not going to fix anything. The storm is out of your control. By keeping your emotions in check and not overreacting you are able to think clearly and respond appropriately.
If you fail a test, beating yourself up over it is not going to make things better. You can’t control what already happened. Realizing this puts you in a problem solving mindset and shifts your focus to what you can do going forward.
Understanding the dichotomy of control frees your mind from needless incessant worry and suffering. There is no use fighting an unwinnable battle. Accept what is and spend your time focused on things you can change.1
Footnotes
- A great resource for diving further into Stoicism is www.dailystoic.com